Once upon a time in a far away but beautiful land of Tinnisia, there lived a very beautiful girl Bobarina. Bobarina, unlike any other girl in the place didn’t have a last name. She was very special to you, to me and to anybody else – owing to her very long and silky hair, kinky dark brown eyes, bitchy devilish red lips, broad model-like shoulder and opalescent cocaine-like color of her skin.
Almost every girl in the town admired her beauty – but not her attitude. Girls dislike her for that. She might be the most beautiful girl in the town but she was hiding a very, very dark secret and character inside the deepest recesses of her heart. Her life, her so-called “life” of beauty and grace was bitter. Her intelligence was green, so is her character and personality. You might even regard her as Ampalaya Queen because of her bitterness. Despite this, she didn’t care.
“I don’t effin’ need you attitude ‘cause I have mine!” she would always shout to others.
One day, Bobarina – the girl without a last name, decided to go out and enjoy being alone. She put on her best make-up and chose a killer dress, the one that would literally kill you once you touch it because Bobarina would really kill the shit out of you once you lay fingers on it.
Bobarina, with her red evening gown, went out of her house with a smile on her face and confidence like no other. No doubt she was beautiful and hot but none of her neighbors shown awe. She went to the jeepney terminal and acted as if it was just a natural thing to her to go out in evening gown while the sun was shining high.
Inside the vehicle, people were staring at her thinking why would such wear a thing in a casual day – and inside a jeepney. “What ‘cha staring at? Do I have dirt on my face?” she asked a man who couldn’t help but to stare at her, “Shet ka ha! Umayos ka!”
“Ano ba yan, may bata dito. Kein u pleise wotch you languweyg?!” shout the fat ugly woman across the other seat.
“Ay sorry po. Shit ka ha, umayos ka!” she repeated with a make face and sharp look to the ugly woman.
“Ano ba yan, parang walang pinag-aralan!”
“What did you say?” asked Bobarina.
“What did you said, what did you said? Ayayayayay” repeated the ugly woman, ridiculing her.
“Now look who’s talking. Did na nga said pa. Baka ikaw ang walang pinag-aralan!”
“Ano, anung sinabi mo! Naku, ikaw babae ka kanina pa ako nagtitimpi sa iyo ha! Napakawalang galang mo!” hysterically.
“Okay, okay! Talk to the hand!” as if bored, “Wag mo nga akong sigawan, have pity on yourself! NA-KAKA-HI-YA ka!”
“Aba, aba, wag na wag mo akong ginaganyan! Ang arte arte mo na nga miss, wala ka pang modo! Kung ayaw mong masigawan dahil dyan sa kagagahan mo, aba mag taxi ka!!!”
“What? Excuse me, can always ride a taxi whenever I want, in fact, I don’t ever need to ride a taxi cause I have my own car! The only reason why I’m here is because I want to experience the hardship you are experiencing. Enough said” she explained calmly. “And by the why, I hope this argument ends here cause I don’t want to stoop down your level. Well, I can always go down to your level but remember, you can never reach mine!”
“Pwede ba, wag mo akong ini-inglish, nandito tayo sa Pilipinas kaya magtagalog ka!!!” she shouted back “punyeta ka talagang babae ka! Napakahayup mo! Letche ka! Puta ka! Gago ka! Ako pa walang pinag-aralan eh mas hayup ka! Gagu ka pa! Punyeta ka! Hayup ka talaga! Wag mo akong inisin at baka matamaan ka sa akin!”
“Sige, magsalita ka pa at pasasabugin ko yang bunganga mo!”
“Aba, pasasabugin pala ha! Bakit di mo gawin?!” she taunted Bobarina as the young woman tried to control her temper, “ano di mo magawa no? Kasi natatakot ka. Duwag, duwag! Wala ka pala, hanggang salita ka lang eh!!!”
“Ah ganun, eh kung pasabugin ko na ngayun yang napakaingay mong bunganga ng matahimik ang buhay namin?” she shouted in a very angry voice while pointing a gun on the fat ugly lady. “Nga, nga! Ngumanga ka at bumaba ka sa jeep!”
The ugly fat woman hurriedly went down the vehicle. She was trembling all over in the fear of getting killed.
“Ano nasan na ngayun yang tapang mong tabatchoy ka! Eh kung basabugin ko na yang bibig mo at ilitchon kita tapos ipalapa kita sa mga asong kalye dyan sa tabi-tabi!”
“Wrag phorg morng kronwg pwaprathrayin!” shrieked the fat ugly lady.
“Anung sabi mo?” she asked while removing the gun outside the old lady’s mouth.
“Wag mo akong papatayin, please! Wag, nagmamakaawa ako! Joke lang yung sinabi ko sa iyo. Di ba nakakatawa naman? Ito naman di mabiro, joker kaya ako sa amin!” she said, then knelt in front of her, “Please, wag mo akong papatayin, I’m Sooooooorrrrrryyyyyyy”
“Oh well. You’re worthless; so it is going to be a waste of time and gun powder to kill you. Hindi mo nakailangan lumuhod at magmakaawa kasi unang tingin pa lang sa iyo nakakaawa ka na!” she demeaned her, “itong anak mo kunin mo!”
The jeepney jumpstarted the engine as the barker shouted that the jeep was already full and good to go. Bobarina went up and sat on the seat next to the entrance, “By the way, BANG!” then pulled the trigger. Shocking thing was, the ugly fat woman was left frightened. “Tanga, joke lang din! Lighter lang to. Bye, bitch!”